Happy 14th Month Annivesary,

HAPPY 14th Month Anniversary Dear !

What should i say on this special day ? Yeap. It's special but it's also a sad day for us. We keep on arguing for useless stuff on the 31st.
We didn't even solved it at all. && she fall asleep without replying my message.
What's my feeling ?
I feel annoyed & angry. I don't know why i felt like that but i just not in a good mood.

I can't take it anymore. I miss her. I need her. && the most important I love her.
Everytime i act that i don't care about her but in my heart i actually do care for her.
Why i act like this ? Is all because i feel that i get no reaction from her eventhough i do.
Chris told me before, "you can't think like that, you're wrong, how you know that she doesn't care about what you do ? behind you, she maybe crying for you but she keep it in her heart by not telling you. "

I know I was wrong. I think deeply into this matter. I messaged her 20 over messages in a night when she was sleeping.
I told her everything. I need her. I miss her. I love her.
I really do need, miss && love her.
I just can't afford to lose her.
People outside gonna say, "No way you all gonna be forever, you all are girls."
Well, this word might be sensitive to me. But yeap, i should have predict that is not forever. Is impossible. Accept the fact.
But now, all i want is be with her until the time comes. That's it. I won't predict till forever or when we will break. Let the time decide.

I waited for her since 1 am - 3 am. sending her messages. fall asleep. wake up at 6am.
thought it was her who call me, but see see is my phone alarm.
fall asleep & wake up at 10 to see her message. but none. waited till 11 and fall asleep again. & at last i got her message.

2 tragic scenes happened to me last night.
first, i fought with my dear. second, my memory card was formatted by it's own.
every memories gone just a click.

Yeah, i remember why we fought yesterday. is all about today outing to Jusco.
She's going out with her friends too. Apple came back from Singapore.
&& i became selfish. i wanted her to be with me ONLY on this special day.
&& she thought that i dislike her friends and asked me not to go if i dislike them.
i was like so disappointed. i don't hate her friends. her friends are also my friends.

At last, i went to Jusco today. being cool towards her the whole day.
In the cinema, i keep on playing PSP without talking to her.
i know is my fault. but i feel bored. i'm sorry dear.
and this is where something happened again.
all of us went to the rooftop to do something.
&& she was standing at the step which she can fall down from 3rd-storey high building.
i was just worried && i asked her to come down. but she didn't even wanna listen to me.
i went moody && just walk off and don't even talked to her.

i went back without saying a bye to her. i called her. && she just picked up & just end up my call.
I called another time. i asked her what she wants. and we fought.
she went and find me after that. i was at coffee bean.
but we don't have the chance to talk. my dad came.

we fought till we almost break. but i will not let it happen.
i cried in tuition. because of her message to me. i can't afford to lose her.
she told me, " we both love each other" and i cried.
i just know that i can't afford to lose her. that's it.

she's mine && i'm hers.

I'm sorry dear for being moody all the time. treating you cool. i know you won't ever believed me anymore. but i just wanna tell you & promised you the last time. i love you dear.
:)


ILY. IMY. INY. ♥


I can't afford to lose someone i love the most. :)